Astala Vista Babe

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http://astalavista-j.blogbus.com/logs/39062413.html

okay my babe.just some words i wanna c, reproduce from da Beethoven's love letter.

letter 1

July 6, in the morning

My angel, my all, my very self -

Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time -

Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine -

Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be -

Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to you with me.

But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I -

My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong.

The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road.

Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road.

Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties -

Now a quick change to things internal from things external.

We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life -

If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these.

My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all -

Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours.

The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -

Your faithful LUDWIG

_

Letter 2

Evening, Monday, July 6

You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. -

You are suffering -

Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you.

What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it -

Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man -

I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday -

Much as you love me - I love you more -

But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night -

As I am taking the baths I must go to bed -

Oh God - so near! so far!

Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

_

Letter 3

Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us -

I can live only wholly with you or not at all -

Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits -

Yes, unhappily it must be so -

You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never -

Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves.

And yet my life in V is now a wretched life -

Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men -

At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection?

My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once -

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together -

Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell.

Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine

ever mine

ever ours